You are a teenager… living at your parents’ home and cannot have the liberty to live, and explore your sexuality.
But you are a teenager, you cannot help it, you cannot help that childish crush on your classmate, you need to fantasize. You need to explore and express, with yourself.
You need to touch yourself, you hide in the bathroom, you hide in your room and you seek that moment, to be alone and lonely. To dream, fantasize, live and experience. You have a crush and your soul needs to be connected with your high school crush. You don’t know if your crush likes you back, but what does it matter? It is all about you. It’s your body connected to the idea of his body. And you smile, you are happy, to experience that first crush (is it the first or the second? it doesn’t matter).
You sit alone… You are not alone in the house, but you have a room of your own, at least for that moment. You take your clothes off, and look in that tiny mirror. You admire the way you look, thinking will you still look like that when you become 18. Does it matter? it’s all about now. You start touching yourself, imagining your crush touching you, and you enjoy. You feel sexy. You feel aroused and filled with desires.
You keep touching yourself, and then you touch your vagina. You feel ashamed at first, but then, again, you are passionate and you think of your crush… where is the shame? And, what shame? you wonder if fingering is safe, does it matter? your body needs the touch? you explore your vagina… your vagina needs it. You need it. You rub your fingers against your clitoris, you like that… it’s a pleasure. You rub harder… and then, softer… you like it. You feel him touching you… your crush… all around you… sucking you, hard. You start moaning… but you stop, because you don’t want to be heard… you moan silently… thinking maybe you should have music on, maybe another time, you want to keep touching yourself, you cannot stop. Your vagina starts being sour… extremely sour, it needs more. You moan… silently… you want to scream… but then you scream… silently. You start shaking… you want more. You feel your heart beats down there… as if your heart moves down to where you fingers are…
You keep screaming silently… until finally, you’re done. You can’t wait to do it again.