Are You Kinky?

kinky

Interesting question! I looked up “kinky” in the dictionary and found the definition “slang; showing or appealing to bizarre or deviant tastes, especially of a sexual or erotic nature.”

Now I’m in a quandary. Allow me to explain. I believe sexual freedom to be a fundamental human right. Following from this, anything that occurs between consenting adults is right and proper. No-one has a mandate to dictate what is or is not acceptable, except the people involved. If it feels good, do it! If we accept this, then nothing can be defined as “bizarre or deviant” because there is no norm, no standard, from which sexual behaviour could be measured. Everything and anything is normal.

Conversely, I also believe that variety is the spice of life. Exploring different or new ways to pleasure with your partner(s) is one of the aspects of sexual activity that makes it so very appealing. Indeed, this is very much the premise upon which Kiss Kaleidos is founded. We want to help folk find ecstasy. We’re not “missionaries”, after all!

All of which brings me back to the original question and where I sit in relation. I am different, but then, so is everyone else. To use “kinky” in lieu of “different” makes the word worthless. I have enjoyed a limited number of sexual partners. Some of them, I felt that I was teaching something new to. Others have shown me acts that I had never even imagined and I’m grateful for the lessons. On the evidence of my “straw poll” of partners, I’d score myself middle-of-the-road, but any statistician could tell you this is a very poor sampling technique.

I’d say I have a predilection for exotic women. I don’t want to get embroiled in a discussion of what constitutes “exotic” here. Suffice to say that more than half of my partners were not WASPs. There are many in WASPland who would regard that as evidence enough of kinkiness but I’d say that’s just ignorance on their part. My limited survey tells me that it is not possible to predict sexual adventurousness based on race or nationality.

There are many folk who would not regard themselves as prudes, but would baulk at involvement with a blog like Kiss Kaleidos. Of course, it would not do for us all to be the same and I respect their decision. I suppose someone who thought that way might regard my activities here to be good evidence of kinkiness. I wouldn’t agree but that’s just another opinion and not a definitive ruling.

Without a trustworthy definition, pigeon-holing anyone’s kinkiness status is bound to be contentious. One man’s kinky is another’s boring and vice versa. But kinky still has meaning to most people and is almost guaranteed to raise a reaction of some sort. Each individual may think of it as meaning “anything I haven’t tried yet”. Obviously, the actual sexual activity engendered by that phrase will be different for each person but maybe that doesn’t matter. Perhaps, if you’re content to include “yet”, you’re kinky.

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2 responses to “Are You Kinky?

  1. English being my third language, I didn’t understand the actual meaning for the word Kink, but then when I looked it up, it seems to mean something extraordinary, not straight. I don’t know if its meaning is negative or not, but I suppose it doesn’t have to have a positive or a negative meaning, all it can mean that one can choose a way to activate one’s sexual life style. A sexual activity is between two people (unless there’s threesome or orgy), and they can do whatever they wish to do, it’s no one’s business, but it should be an agreement between the two, and no outsider has the right to judge or criticize. surely one can discuss one’s sexual life, but one can find any method to make sex exciting and enjoyable.
    Unfortunately my sexual experience is extremely limited, and I don’t know if it’s time for me to start a “Kinky” one. By the time I get myself a stable sexual relationship I will see what I can do about it.

    • Kinky just means you’re not doing it the way that everyone else admits to doing it, which by any measure, is a rather nebulous concept. You’re absolutely right with “any method to make sex exciting and enjoyable”.

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